pyratic’s blog

Off_Road_by_gilad

Hmm .. haven't felt like this in ages

im tired of feeling change day after day ..

truth is you dont change ..

You hibernate into some freak being ..

and then there are times you change back .. changing back is a difficult process
but .. *shrugs*

Somebody said when there is hope .. even with a percentile of ten zeros preceding the decimal point
there's still that illusive 1 after them ten zeros

and that's all it takes ..

0.00000000001

cause that my friend in any language .. translates to a positive value ..
cause it points to the fact that "There is hope" no matter where you are .. how late you are

i realized that sometime this year ..

and i saw its effects recently

eyes that show no reflection ..

no image of anyone

no reaction

dead .. cold

wanting to go black .. blind

wet themselves recently

as if life's saying

"You''re still alive .. i know you are . Don't blow yourself away with the wind ... don't forget the fire u spoke of ..
don't forget the friends .. don't forget the green lawn in the backdrop of a castle with a crystal clear lake .. don't forget the round table u dreamt of .. Don't forget yourself ."

and then rained the dots ..................................................

and it stopped suddenly .. that's not me .. that wasn't me .. that won't be me ....

If i've learnt something ... and if i don't forget what i've learnt .. I'll come to you one day .. with the same smile i had ages back .. shining face .. no dark circles beneath the eyes .. hair properly trimmed .. clean shaved  ..

and best of all ..

I wont have to pretend .. to anyone .. or anything

Not even to myself

*smiles*

Words will fail me each and every time .. but i wont fail myself anymore

and it won't even be a dream .. i'll make it real for myself .. and for you 

Mighty

Walking this high road are warriors from an olden time
Curse on this land and the days far behind us
Dragons we’ve slain, rescued many maidens fair
No man ever dared break our stride
Or the brotherhood that binds us

Brothers are we, marching on the roads of time
From this broken land and the days that defined us
All men are free, justice is a sword we hold
Trusting in the knight’s noble vow
In the brotherhood that binds us

When the broken are strong, Freak the mighty
When the beaten are proud, Freak the mighty
When the twisted can stand, Freak the mighty
When the silenced can laugh, Freak the mighty
When the haunted have turned, Freak the mighty
When the tortured are sane, Freak the mighty
When the blinded still stare, Freak the mighty
When the poison remain, Freak the mighty
When the voiceless can sing, Freak the mighty
And the shackled can run, Freak the mighty
And this downtrodden man holds his face to the sun, Freak the mighty

We’ll be walking high above the world
Our legend will say ay ay ay ay ay

Freak the mighty

We've lost the way with a map ..

there's no turning back ..

the fogged lines of gray cloud our retreat ..

we've hindered for more than 4 years now ..

time we thought about starting anew again ..

with each time resulting in coming back to square one again..

what's so different this time ? what's the zeal ?

Is it not just another journey .. just another stage

one which means for us to be selective .. to choose .. and to lament

or is it just us at fault with closed minds in the cold rain ..

Lets go for this one thing .. we've tried and failed in everything we had ..

whats the harm ? ..

what's the cost ?

what's the consequences ? ..

NOTHING

what makes you so sure to yield a result when all others have failed ? ..

because ..

I know once of a young man who thought so much alike what's being told ..

He decided to bury it all and move on .. no looking back .. to turning back

Bury he did .. but thought .. still the same

Time will never be lost for him to redeem himself .. cause i know him

There'll be his day one day .. and he'll still pray for those he loves and looks up to ..

cause he doesn't want anything .. just those who live and love to be happy and content

that's what he derives happiness from ..

"Its isn't like one of those times when you say i'll thrive to make all others happy .. its not like anytimes at all .. it's like having a snow fall in the Sahara "

My petty reasons and beliefs dissolved and merged respectively with your key and you belief

I hope i don't turn back .. i know i won't

its like spiritual awakening ..

like how the saints told  "you wake up one unsuspecting and normal day to feel  as if everything's different .. or just that maybe its you that's changed"

*smiles*

no no imnt going right now to sit fixated in a meditating position going into deep trance and tranquility

if i had to describe the whole episode in two lines it could be

The three days which felt like three years ..
had the audacity to give me answers to every one of my questions ..
 

*smiles*

no more contradictions

no more laying dormant

no more rantings

no more sad shit [sorry sorry just one last time ok]

no more nothing

*grins*

I am not hyper/happy/sad/crazy/insane/OCD/yada yada

im just born anew

the past three days have played the role of an Eraser in my life ..
a different and unique kinda eraser ..
I now have an eraser that can let me rub off anything i want to ..
yea anything

That doesn't make one happy neither sad
just satisfied ..
the true result appears after a period of time

after all the hustle bustle
stupid blogs
poems
sad little rantings

and what not

as concerned with the whole  schedule of things

Blogging is one of the things that will get cut off
[woo hoo !! no more boring stuff to read]

It almost erased off my reason to smoke entirely ..
Drinking stopped every bit ..

and guess what .. what seemed spooky and a cultish type of thing

actually turned out to be a refuge for a person like me [yea i know imnt supposed to use terms like that]

But lets see where this mind takes me ..

Lets start thinking from your sub conscious mind and puke it out from the conscious mind

=|

guess this is what
umm

hibernation

dunno

not posting again though [keep it strong  -__-*]

bless ya'll

Thats what life's reduced to these past two to three years

*sigh*

its sooo boring !!!!

no one to meet

no one to talk to

no one interesting to hang out with

no one interesting sharing a common sight of thought

bah

no Movies to watch

worst of all

NO MORE MONEY !!!

damn .. my stomach's growling already

cant drink

throat fucked up

but still smoke

:|

now where's the logic behind that

I think im going to end up spending my last summer holidays alone
doing nothing as usual

but what i'll miss will sure be company ..

eheh .. Rock and Hip hop will always remain a noise to me
*shrugs*
guess i have enough of coldness and numbness in life to keep on listening to more of that in Music

*smiles*
But cant hate these songs .. they're life
like a small pep up pill
saying
You're alive bitch ! go out there and show em who's still the boss
*laughs*
yea yea weird i know ..

And whats with the stupid titles u've been putting up on Posts
*rolls eyes*
gah

The day I was leaving
I was feeling insecure
I thought that I'd thrown away
All of those days
And what we had before
And now I believe it
After what you had to say
I thought about every day
In every way
And this is what I'll say now baby

You don't have to worry
Cause everything's all right
I know that you'll get me
That you'll get me through the night

When you come around
You know you pick me up when I'm feeling down
And I want you to know
Baby how can I show
Do I have to scream and shout
When you come around
You only have to smile and you knock me out
But I'm here on the floor
And I'm begging for more
Baby that's what love's about

There's so many reasons
Why our love is guaranteed
So many reasons why
I can't hide
Just what you mean to me
So say what you're thinking
While you're sitting next to me
Let all your feelings show
Just let me know
Just how it's meant to be now baby

You don't have to worry
Cause everything's all right
I know that you'll get me
That you'll get me through the night

When you come around
You know you pick me up when I'm feeling down
And I want you to know
Baby how can I show
Do I have to scream and shout
When you come around
You only have to smile and you knock me out
But I'm here on the floor
And I'm begging for more
Baby that's what love's about

You don't have to worry
Cause everything's all right
I know that you'll get me
That you'll get me through the night

When you come around
You know you pick me up when I'm feeling down
And I want you to know
Baby how can I show
Do I have to scream and shout
When you come around
You only have to smile and you knock me out
But I'm here on the floor
And I'm begging for more
Baby that's what love's about

I am a good way to let off some steam ne ?

i dont mind ...

it hurts sometimes ...

but oh hell .. better be of some use then nothing at all eh ?

someday u'll miss this punching bag .. and i'll smile from far far away and say ..

sorry i cudn't b there ..

No i never hated you .. just hoped for the best .. never felt disgusted by you .. didn't think of you as an ungrateful ass

But after all of this ..

i dont hold even one once of thirst to get back at you ..

to say .. no .. shout

im tired of this .. please let me go
i dunno why i dun hate you .. maybe thats why i hate myself

No i never did badmouth you .. even though u did everytime .. im used to it
i wont feel bad .. really ..

Dont ever replace your favorite punching bag
 

- Warm Regards

 Punching bag     ~ "Hello  ^_^"   *Groan* damn i miss my forest of solitude T_T  im going back this July
dattebayo !!  cheerio  \m/ 

Why do people mix stupid illusions with nicer parts of insanity

its like spoiling a mixture of Vodka with too much water

Its like you impose stupid restrictions on yourself for the sake of forming an image outta yourself ..
just cause u've seen it somewhere else ..

fck this shit .. i'll give it a try ..

yes yes

......

doggone humans ..
as a first ..
i really love not being called human
i couldn't live with the tag ..

There will be the rise and fall of him again ...

People desperately seek a villain

no matter how it is ..

the slightest indications ..

My time is near ..

I'll b glorified and killed just like ol pussy chan  ^^

"Burn the witch"

"Kill the source and the problems will go away"

guess it just doesnt work that way ..

but well
it never does matter

if it helps pass time

i'll b a villain

=\

WHY NOW ???

why now of all times ..

why now .. why now ..

I've an exam to goto on the 13th

then again on the 18th and the last one on 19th

Cant u have consumed me then ?

I CANT READ LYING ON BED WITH 2 FUCKING NEEDLES UP MY ARM
AND SMONE TRYING TO WIPE ALL THE SWEAT

I cant fail this ..

You can do whatever you want to with me ..

just wait for one more week
is all i ask of

My eye's burn .. i cant talk , walk , breathe straight
I love this .. but im helpless

go away
wait for a week

i beg of you !!